There is no expectation that they will navigate it in the most positive way possible. Pretending to be positive only makes matters untrustworthy and messier for longer. B: Advice Regarding Surrender Or Getting Over Hurt On Your Own Any therapist s expectation that a hurt, betrayed partner would get over it and make recovery less messy is not helpful. How could you look me in the eyes and see how much pain I was in and how unloved I felt and continue giving our money to your girlfriend? Why did you promise me that you would never cheat on me as my father did to my mother? How can you say, It s not about you ? You admitted to me that you never considered my feelings. Twelve-step programs or other community support groups help many people to overcome the shame they feel about their compulsive sexual behaviors and to separate those behaviors from their sense of overall self-worth. Talk therapy with a professional who understands sex addiction is also a crucial component of treatment for most people in recovery. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Trained practitioners perform a formal therapeutic technique that transplants negative thoughts with more positive ones. NLP also helps to eliminate phobias. Give Yourself Time There will be days when you feel as if you re wandering in a fog. You may not think you can make it through the day without giving into the temptation that may suddenly pop up. Checking in as often as necessary with a Sponsor (a sex addict who is sober, is a member of SAA, and continues to work his program in order to remain sober). Therapy with a counselor who has undergone rigorous training to earn the designation of Certified Sex Addiction Therapist3 (CSAT) status. The realization that it takes time and allegiance to the program and to God, (aka the Higher Power in 12-step groups) in order to achieve sobriety. Process addictions, which also include excessive shopping and gambling, are marked by a strong desire to engage in behaviors despite the potentially negative consequences. Thus, the elevated mood associated with addictions, albeit temporary, is often viewed as the elixir for troubling life circumstances and unwelcomed thoughts.