The use of pornography causes the body to get high; on a mixture of chemicals including adrenaline, testosterone, epinephrine, and over time, more of the pornographic material is needed to get the same rush. A survey of 28,000 men in Italy, conducted by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine, said that several began an addiction to pornography early in their teen years, by age 14. Offer concrete goals and standards for his recovery. In the initial stages of crisis, demanding obedience might be necessary, but demanding obedience in the long term can sabotage trust rebuilding. Trust should be based on genuine care and commitment, not just following orders. Here are three important boundaries to consider for rebuilding trust in your marriage. In my work with sex offenders, I often used the term transitory guilt, which is a short-lived guilt that is very intense in nature and not manageable to carry around in one s mind, to describe the offensive cycle of behavior. A myriad of thinking errors or cognitive distortions are used to decrease and eventually eliminate the guilt, thus putting the offender in a position to reoffend. Essentially, if your couples therapist says, Go get more help on your own, they are effectively deeming you a lost cause. After all, they are a relationship expert, literally sending you away from your relationship for not being good enough at forgiving and forgetting. This confirms your worst fears about your worth as a partner and kicks you when you re down. But Jesus didn t ask him if he wanted to BE well instead the question was if he wanted to GET well. When Jesus instructs him to stop sinning or something worse may happen, Jesus is telling him that, while the outer circumstances of his condition have been healed, the inner condition is still to be addressed. Consequently, an addict needs more and more of the behavior to achieve the same high. Sex addicts often report feelings of guilt, shame and remorse associated with their sexual experiences. Addicts may feel hopeless and powerless in their situation, believing they have no control over their sexual thoughts and actions.