Recovery Doesn t Mean No Sex Sexual abstinence is not the goal for you in recovery unless you choose to remain celibate, but that s purely your decision. Instead, the goal should be a pursuit of healthy sexual behavior and true intimacy. You should strive, then, to see authentic love. What If You Relapse? The saying a kid in a candy store has never been more applicable as it pertains to the anonymity, accessibility, variety and cost-free options that technology provides. Not only does television media inundate viewers with a sex sells approach to advertising, but the internet provides a wide array of sexual options at one s fingertips. When we attach to someone who is perhaps say, sexually addicted, it can affect our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health in teeth rattling ways. Instead of grounding us, it puts us in free fall. Instead of security we experience fear. Because our partner has caused us such deep pain, they now feel like a threat to our well-being rather than a source of comfort and rest. During the mid-twenties to mid-thirties time period, more than 22 percent had begun using pornography and this number rose to more than 25 percent for men in the next age group, 35 to 44 years. The usage rates began to decline among study participants in the 45 to 54 age bracket, and then dropped by almost 50 percent, down to 12 percent, for men older than 55. God intended sex as two people giving themselves to each other. Porn is just about taking for yourself. So when someone watches pornography, they are consuming a degradation of God s image and degrading God s image in themselves. In contrast, Colossians 3:10 says that Christians have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. To the Partner: I recognize that the AVR formula will sound scripted and rote. I promise you he does not know how to empathize, so he must learn the skills before it becomes natural to him. I would like to tell you that this process could take three months, but unfortunately it will be 12 to 24 months before this becomes organic.