For other people, however, non-compulsive masturbation can actually aid the biological urge for sexual release, provide a venue for self-nurturance and contribute to an overall sense of sexual health. Figuring out which side of the line is right for a particular person can depend on many factors, making this a topic worth discussing with trusted resources of support and guidance. If you were indeed able to figure out the primary feeling, you will be able to validate it later in your day if it comes up. Remember to identify one of these five feelings: anger, sadness, loneliness, happiness or fear. I can see as you look at the pictures from the Memorial Day family picnic that you feel sadness because now you question the reality of what really happened on that day. My feeling of shame tells me I have sinned and that I need to deal with it through confession and repentance. Unhealthy shame occurs when I have done something wrong and feel like a bad person. Unhealthy shame tells me I am worthless, I am no good. Unhealthy shame attacks my value as a person; healthy shame judges my behaviour, not my person, as right or wrong. Not only does abuse of pornography lead to a loss of interest in sex, it can make men unable to perform sexually and create a mindset where even the idea of sex exists in a different realm than reality. During the process, the viewer becomes addicted to pornography online, then needs more and more of the material to get the same effect; but their response to the images is reduced, until they cannot become aroused any longer. Sex addiction, in particular, creates a sense of excitement and pleasure, while simultaneously ensuring emotional distance and avoidance of true connection the kind of intimacy that can leave one open to being hurt. Putting in the Work in Sex Addiction Recovery The process of recovery for sex addicts involves identifying those behaviors such as obsessive masturbation, pornography use, anonymous sex, exhibitionism, etc. Our lives consist of many things. Family, finances, work, community activities the list can go on and on. This individual universe is managed in the same way as the solar system, where whatever we place at the center will direct and orientate everything around it. So we need to ask: What is at the center of our universe?