) Especially when it comes to problematic pornography use there is evidence that a 90 day period of total sexual abstinence can help some people "reboot" their brain so that continued abstinence becomes easier and they become significantly happier and more productive as time progresses. This benefit of getting some forward momentum is captured in an old recovery saying that "it's easier to stay sober than to get sober". They include Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA), Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), or Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA). They have face-to-face meetings at many locations in the U.S. and internationally as well as online and telephone meetings. The traumatized partner s mind is on a perpetual search to find more certainty, which can lead to more suffering, and yet it is the survival skill attempting to keep the partner safe. A partner s attempts to find safety can exacerbate her fears because her primary need is to feel safe and survive. This can create more suffering because she is in that hypervigilant state to know the truth. The mind and the spirit suffer when caught up in these acts that hold a complete disregard for the importance and meaning of sexuality. Sex is not meant to be a frivolous pastime nor a recreational activity; it is intended to be shared between two people who have deep feelings of love and commitment to one another. Sex addicts often drag perfectionism, shame, and self-hatred into their sexual decision making process, which is what drove the addictive behaviors in the first place. While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. Sex addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior, has been defined as an excessive focus on and participation in sexual activities despite negative consequences. It can have extreme consequences on one s emotional, psychological and social well-being. When the American Psychiatric Association made the bold decision not to include sex addiction in the DSM-5 (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition), many felt the choice was controversial.