We all want this special someone to attach to and intermingle our lives with. In fact, attachment researchers talk about the paradox of attachment saying, The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become, (Attached). So the better our relationships are in terms of providing us with a sense of, I can depend on you the more we are able to move fully into the rest of our lives, face insecurity and take risks. Abuse of stimulants and the intense sexual desire that can accompany these drugs can jumpstart a pattern of compulsive sexual behavior, and sexual addiction can also become a substitute addiction for people who are in the process of quitting an addictive substance. Nevertheless, the history of abuse that dominates the pasts of a large majority of sex addicts shows the strong correlation between this addiction and early trauma. You need others in your corner, people who have been through all the pitfalls, have hit bottom and got back up. You need someone who can help steer you in the right direction, listen to your fears, and help calm you. These are your allies, your brothers in fellowship. Another common worry is that you ll have to give up too much of your time to attend meetings, to continue therapy or group discussions. When these wives are offered the truth it finally allows them to feel sane. It is not only a gift from their husbands, it is really (in our opinion) a moral imperative. No wonder the Bible instructs us to speak truth to each other. I know that as couples seek to heal and transform from the hurts of infidelity, full disclosure is an important part of trust-building. Healing the Shame-Based Self in Sexual Recovery By Robert Weiss, LCSW, CAS Self-Nurturing Early recovery requires a clear and well-defined sexual plan that often requires a period of celibacy. Often times though, this leads to unhealthy judgment, sexual anorexia, and fear. Desperate to "recover right", most sex addicts are guarded about their early sexual choices and behaviors. Although sexual addiction has received some high-profile exposure with movies such as Don Jon and celebrities Tiger Woods and David Duchovny revealing that they are addicted to sex, the issue still remains foreign to most. What is sexual addiction? In his book Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, Patrick Carnes, an expert on sex addiction and treatment, defines sexual addiction as any sexually related compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones and one s work environment.