No matter how hurtful the past has been or how strong the current desire to act is, the addict needs to understand that their behavior came from an attempt to cope with unmanageable circumstances. They must learn that the addict part of them helped them emotionally survive until they got the aid that they needed. At the time I did not understand the science and theory behind the way that we pair-bond and what happens when that attachment is damaged. I only knew that discovering sexual betrayal in my relationship changed me overnight. Every betrayed partner is dealt two blows at once when they discover their spouse s sexual behavior. The patient begins to realize that she has a problem and may even reach out for help, but can t commit. She might start therapy or go to group sessions, but drop out. The crisis stage. During this brief stage, one to three months long, the addict s problems reach a crisis level. She makes a firm commitment to change after experiencing a crisis moment. Addicts need to identify their personal rituals so that they can intercept the addictive cycle before they act out. Rituals could include things like fantasizing about having sex with a co-worker, imagining what your neighbour looks like without clothes on, arranging your schedule for some alone time with your computer so you can log in to porn sites uninterrupted. Sexual behavior and reproduction rituals also exists in various levels of the animal kingdom. Creatures that can reproduce asexually such as worms also elect to mate with other worms as another reproductive option. Therefore, when approaching the problem of sexual addiction, I believe it is our duty to conceptualize it knowing that sexual desire is a common denominator (at various levels) among both humans and animals. These feelings directly result from chemical disruptions in the brain that are unnatural and unsustainable for any healthy or satisfying life. The mind and the spirit suffer when caught up in these acts that hold a complete disregard for the importance and meaning of sexuality. Sex is not meant to be a frivolous pastime nor a recreational activity; it is intended to be shared between two people who have deep feelings of love and commitment to one another.