Rebuilding intimacy can also be facilitated through daily check-ins using the FANOS model, which covers feelings, affirmation, needs, owning actions, sobriety, and spiritual growth. The timing to resume sexual intimacy varies, but it s generally recommended to have at least 45 days of abstinence, with a true reboot possibly taking 90 days or longer. By lying to your spouse or family members, you can only ever have the mediocre happiness that comes with living an inauthentic life. Integrity was at the core of his problem, and only through honesty could he find a way upwards. Finding Help In February 2017, we joined Covenant Eyes and hesitantly installed the app. As the evening moves on, you become aware that your spouse is going to want to stay for a while longer. You might begin to feel frustrated, irritated, annoyed and begin thinking about how ridiculous this is, they always do this, does he/she think we are teenagers, what s wrong with them etc. We could say you are triggered and you probably have a need (stage one). Understanding the science that drives the addictive process is vital for the betrayed partner s wellness, lest they take responsibility for their betrayer s acting out. Knowing the brain science that causes a process addiction is essential to understanding how something that isn t a chemical substance can be addictive. We can never underestimate the power of prayer in the healing of addictions. The five components to treatment According to Mark Laaser,1 author and recovering sex addict, there are five components to treatment and recovery for sexual addiction. They are: Stopping sexual behaviours Stopping rituals Stopping fantasy Healing despair Healing shame. You aren t alone. Please give yourself some grace and keep reading. Soon, there are three key things you ll know and understand: Who is actually positioned to help hurt partners heal infidelity pain? Who may not help aid betrayal trauma recovery? What must be done when partners are unable to move past the emotional pain.