Those against its inclusion argue that it does not meet sufficient diagnostic criteria and that pathologizing sexual behavior can have dangerous ramifications. After all, how do you draw the line between a healthy relationship with sex and compulsive sexual behaviors? Proponents of its inclusion, however, argue that without a formal categorization system people may not receive the help they need. With some of the messier, more complicated needs, if no clear option appears available to you right now and you are unable to come up with any alternatives after being active in your own hoop to communicate it relationally or attempt to meet it for yourself, can you surrender your need to God or your higher power, trusting that He may meet it or there may be something in it for you to learn about yourself? The biggest struggle for my husband through this heartbreaking addiction was the concept of integrity and honesty. I firmly believe that true recovery is not even remotely possible until all the cards are face up on the table. Secrecy fuels this addiction. Our therapist once mentioned the idea that it is better to be 100% honest and have integrity even if it means risking the shame and possibility of losing your comfort zone. If he refuses help, you must follow through with consequences when boundaries are crossed. Boundaries are essential in healing a marriage affected by pornography use. Boundaries create a framework for both partners to take responsibility for their healing, rebuild trust, and foster a healthier relationship. As you read the email I received below, ask yourself the following question: Is this individual seeking pornography as a mere form of healthy entertainment, or is he driven and compelled to have it? This email, below, comes from a highly respected man in his community who loves his family and is committed to providing for and caring for them. Holiness Means Receiving God s Grace For Christians, overcoming pornography is not primarily about self-discipline or willpower. It s about God s grace working in a believer s life. Christians should rely on God s strength through prayer, Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and Christian community, rather than trying to conquer sin by their own efforts (Philippians 2:13).