Reassurance That You Have Changed, and Your Top Priority Is to Help Her Heal It will be necessary to share how you are changing and what you are working on to focus on your recovery and her healing (You do not want to be cocky or arrogant. Instead, you want to gently remind her that you will work diligently to build back her trust in you). In fact, our partner may interpret the second phrase as controlling. For example, one we often hear: I need you to go group while still being good information for us by assisting us on finding the deeper need, is not actually the need. I need a sense of safety and support around our recovery might be closer to that need. No matter how hurtful the past has been or how strong the current desire to act is, the addict needs to understand that their behavior came from an attempt to cope with unmanageable circumstances. They must learn that the addict part of them helped them emotionally survive until they got the aid that they needed. Thus, the elevated mood associated with addictions, albeit temporary, is often viewed as the elixir for troubling life circumstances and unwelcomed thoughts. The addict is vigorously chasing this elevated mood, but the behavior of engaging in the addiction is often followed by intense feelings of guilt and shame. Submitted by Bill Herring The concept of "sobriety" for sex addicts can be confusing for many people. As an Atlanta counselor specializing in problematic sexual behavior patterns such as chronic pornography use, repeated acts of cheating and infidelity, risky sexual behavior and flat-out sex and porn addiction, I decided to write this brief article to sort out some of the basic concepts for understanding this tricky topic. When wives internal world of perceptions and intuition does not match up with their external world of what they are seeing and being told, they can develop feelings of being crazy. That is often the result of internal and external worlds not seeming to match up. When these wives are offered the truth it finally allows them to feel sane.