Sex addiction, in particular, creates a sense of excitement and pleasure, while simultaneously ensuring emotional distance and avoidance of true connection the kind of intimacy that can leave one open to being hurt. Putting in the Work in Sex Addiction Recovery The process of recovery for sex addicts involves identifying those behaviors such as obsessive masturbation, pornography use, anonymous sex, exhibitionism, etc. It is complicated to understand that there are two truths for people who struggle with sex addiction: they love their partner (in the way they know love) and act out sexually with themselves or others. Betrayed partners come to understand that addiction is a division of the self. Reflection and reconstruction Betrayal trauma causes a fracture in the foundation of a relationship and the foundation of the self. What does it mean to be dead to sin? Among other things, dying to sin means taking practical steps to remove opportunities for temptation. It means confessing your struggles to another person (Hebrews 3:13, James 5:16). It could include downloading accountability software, or removing your access to forms of media that could be triggering (Matthew 5:29-30). In this case, the manic state is often caused by irregular brain chemistry. This is why mood stabilizers, antipsychotics and therapy are often an effective treatment option for those experiencing compulsive sexual behavior. By understanding how to recognize the occurrence manic episodes, the person is better armed to stabilize their sexual addiction as well. Step 5: Finally, if after being proactive in these ways, that need still remains, can we surrender that need? Can we see if God might work in that space and bring about something we could not? Or teach us something about ourselves that we may have needed to know? Putting It Together Let s walk it through with an example: Let s say you are at your spouse s work event on a Friday evening. This makes recovery for sex addiction more similar to compulsive overeating where the goal is to manage food appropriately, not stop eating altogether. For many people, a good definition of sexual sobriety is to engage in sex only with a primary partner when true emotional intimacy is present. For other people the goal is simply to have no sexual secrets.