Despite the negative consequences caused by their addiction, recovering addicts need to find ways to love and value the addiction. They should see the desire to act out as an emotional alarm going off. This alarm is saying that he is in some kind of need and should reach out. Recovering sex addicts should see their addiction as a part of themselves that they should value, not disparage. Marital counseling for couples can be quite helpful to the future life and health of the relationship, but should only occur after each partner has participated in individual therapy to help them each rise above their own set of issues. Christian Counseling for Sex Addiction As a Christian counselor, I have seen that some marriages can certainly be restored, but there are no guarantees of restoration. Unhealthy shame attacks my value as a person; healthy shame judges my behaviour, not my person, as right or wrong. I may have done something bad, but that doesn t make me a bad person. Addicts have to learn how to differentiate between healthy and unhealthy shame. Engaging in shameful behaviour does not mean that an addict is a shameful person, unworthy of love. This could be the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease, an arrest, attempting suicide or anything else that causes the addict to commit to change. The shock stage. For the next six to eight months, the addict has admitted to the problem but is in shock and disbelief. She feels angry and hopeless but ultimately relieved that she has finally admitted to having an addiction to sexual behaviors. And remember, we play an important role in helping clients who are struggling with sexual addiction. With counseling, they can learn that sex is not a bad thing and that they can experience it in a healthy way. Scott Stolarick is a licensed clinical professional counselor who has been practicing in the state of Illinois for 30 years. When a Christian struggles with temptation or even relapses, it doesn t mean God has abandoned them. Holiness is something God applies to the believer through their relationship with Jesus. But it s also a process as the Christian learns to rely on God in the midst of their own weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and experiencing God s grace as we confess our sins to one another (James 5:16, Galatians 6:2).