Recovering sex addicts should see their addiction as a part of themselves that they should value, not disparage. If they respond to their addictive longings by calling someone in recovery, going to a meeting, etc., then the call of the addict has served its purpose and deserves appreciation. This replaces shameful behavior with self-nurturing and healthy attachment. This takes time sometimes lots of time; If restoration of the marriage is to occur, the wife must firmly establish her boundaries, engage in the self-care of counseling and support, and be willing, at some time in the future, to be called to forgive him. We are called by God to forgive and forgiveness is one part of the restoration of the marriage. Check-ins and transparency: Ask your husband about his recovery progress. Avoiding triggers and temptations: Request that he avoid situations that may lead to temptation. Additionally, it s important to encourage your husband to explore positive hobbies during the recovery process. Accountability Boundaries Accountability boundaries aim to hold your husband responsible for his actions and help build trust. Is willing to be forthright about STI history and willing to speak openly about a potential partner s STI history before sex Desires a relationship not out of need or desperation, but as a reasoned decision to add value to his or her life As the SLAA 12 Promises state: Love will be a committed, thoughtful decision, rather than a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. They can find the peace they have been searching for with the proper education and support. Thousands have done it already. Sex Addiction Treatment is Necessary To those who have trouble accepting the fact that pornography and sex addiction treatment is complex and necessary, listen to the following email that I recently received. If an addict is to break free from fantasizing, they must uncover the reasons why they have to "escape." 4. Healing despair Most sex addicts feel they are beyond redemption, that their sexual behaviour is so appalling that forgiveness is impossible. Self hatred leads to despair and sometimes even to suicide.