That afternoon, I sat down with the guys and we had a group treatment experience. For an hour, we did gestalt work talking to that poor, ugly stuffed dragon. We spoke to him about how we had dishonored him, understanding how he, as our addict, had only tried to help us become aware of our needs and encourage us to reach out for nurturing, validation, and support. He may also have experienced various forms of abuse or abandonment. These also effect his identity and development. As he age progresses himself through his story, it becomes clearer and clearer how his sexual sin developed and progressed. Understanding these facts and the dynamic that hurt people can go on to hurt people can help a wife build empathy and can also help her to depersonalize his behaviors. Each week, month, and year that passed made it easier to live a life free from pornography. He was doing the work to overcome the addiction, and Covenant Eyes was the tool helping to make it easier for him. Recently I asked my husband how he was doing with his addiction. I didn t really need to ask, because his actions and accountability tell me everything I need to know, but it was reassuring nonetheless when he told me, Covenant Eyes has removed the temptation for me. Empathy Breeds Connection By Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CCPS-S, CSAT, PCC Empathy is the needed ingredient in relationship building and is an essential requirement when repairing betrayal. Men seem to have an empathy deficit and so I found that breaking it down was much more helpful in teaching this all important skill. Without a doubt, healing from sex addiction is most definitely possible. But getting there is difficult work, for both the addict and his spouse. God forgives even the ugliest of sins. This means that each of us can experience real and meaningful forgiveness with each attempt to start over and break our patterns of repetitive sin. Acting out is not about love or sex; instead, acting out numbs the overwhelming agony of being loved by a real-life partner. The root of addiction and the brain science At the root of addiction is trauma. Trauma is the problem, and for some, sexual acting out is the solution until the solution fails.