But it s also a process as the Christian learns to rely on God in the midst of their own weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and experiencing God s grace as we confess our sins to one another (James 5:16, Galatians 6:2). 3. Holiness Means Restoring God s Image Pornography is unholy because it distorts the image of God in both the viewer and the people being viewed. Psychiatric medications can also act as a helpful libido suppressant while the client develops new skills. Work with clients to establish definitions of healthy sexual behavior and fantasy. Help clients develop adequate social skills training. Integrate bibliotherapy and appropriate support groups as needed. We may have learned to be needless and wantless (self-sufficient), or that your needs don t matter, or we may have learned to be somewhat needy (a passive requiring of others to do for me what perhaps I could sometimes take care of myself learned helplessness). These ways of being limit the capacity for intimate and safe connection within relationship. When we lead a couple through full disclosure, the husband (or unfaithful partner), creates a time-line of his entire sexual history, starting from birth. In fiveyear increments, he builds the story of how his sexuality developed. In the early years, many husbands have rather normal experiences of sexual experimenting which contribute to the shaping of sexual identity and development. Without intervention, intense emotions lead to faulty thinking, which becomes a force from within that fuels anger, rage and revenge. The powerful energy inside can be like a runaway train gaining speed until it crashes. Betrayed partners learn that betrayers live in a state of secret destructive entitlement. During the early stages of healing, most counselors recommend a period of intentional sexual abstinence lasting 45-90 days. This abstinence has several benefits, including preventing sex from being used as a weapon, allowing time to observe his commitment to rebuilding intimacy, and helping him detox from porn s impact.