Therapy with a counselor who has undergone rigorous training to earn the designation of Certified Sex Addiction Therapist3 (CSAT) status. The realization that it takes time and allegiance to the program and to God, (aka the Higher Power in 12-step groups) in order to achieve sobriety. He must understand that attaining and maintaining sobriety involves a daily commitment. Our addict, who longed for acknowledgement and help, had been angry about being ignored and shut out, and had found sex as a means for attention and validation. We each took this opportunity to say, "Thanks for helping us survive, we see you, we will listen now, we will take care of you. We can work together without shame. The growth stage. This final stage can last two years or more and is the final step in becoming completely healed from sex addiction. It is during this stage that the study found sex addicts truly began to enjoy life again and felt confident in having strong, healthy sexual relationships. The Need for Lasting Change It s only natural to feel a sense of despair when you see how long it can take to heal from sex addiction. Personal action items may involve seeking personal counseling for emotional healing, along with creating a plan for different scenarios based on your husband s response to recovery efforts. If he earnestly seeks help, you can commit to working on the relationship together. If he refuses help, you must follow through with consequences when boundaries are crossed. Gottlieb mentioned that whenever someone comes into her office to discuss infidelity, she wonders what other infidelities might be going on not necessarily other affairs but the more subtle ways that partners can stray that also threaten a marriage. In his book Contrary to Love, Patrick Carnes said his research indicated that 97% of individuals who were addicted to sex had been emotionally abused as children. Porn is just about taking for yourself. So when someone watches pornography, they are consuming a degradation of God s image and degrading God s image in themselves. In contrast, Colossians 3:10 says that Christians have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.