A secondary gain of mindfulness is that over time, you can learn to be present with the uncertainty, which is a normal response that is manifested out of betrayal trauma in a manner that was not reactive driven. When you learn this, you will not only survive, but thrive because of the self-growth that has occurred because of your trauma. Getting Attached When we pair up into long-term relationships we begin a process of bonding with one another that is a beautiful and profound intertwining of two lives. In this mysterious attachment, we actually start to physically operate as one biological organism. The book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment says, Numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit. Holiness Means Living in Two Worlds You may have noticed a tension in what I ve been saying so far. On one hand, holiness is something that God does for a Christian. It s an objective reality because of Jesus s work on the cross, and it doesn t depend on how we feel or what we do. That s incredible. On the other hand, holiness does involve the things we do. Sex addiction, in particular, creates a sense of excitement and pleasure, while simultaneously ensuring emotional distance and avoidance of true connection the kind of intimacy that can leave one open to being hurt. Putting in the Work in Sex Addiction Recovery The process of recovery for sex addicts involves identifying those behaviors such as obsessive masturbation, pornography use, anonymous sex, exhibitionism, etc. The five components to treatment According to Mark Laaser,1 author and recovering sex addict, there are five components to treatment and recovery for sexual addiction. They are: Stopping sexual behaviours Stopping rituals Stopping fantasy Healing despair Healing shame. Stopping sexual behaviours Admitting there's a problem is the first step to coming out of denial. When our human transparency and need is met by God s acceptance and mercy, change happens. A Sex Addict Needs to Want to Recover When thinking of the addict and addiction, one should think recover rather than total cure. This is akin to being declared in remission when cancer is involved. However, there is much growth and blessing to be received in the recovery process.