Masturbation almost always includes fantasy and for true sex addicts such fantasy can amplify into a downward spiral of obsession, objectification and eventually full-fledged compulsion. This is especially true when pornography is included as part of a masturbation ritual. From this perspective masturbation may need to be considered off-limits for many sex addicts. When we lead a couple through full disclosure, the husband (or unfaithful partner), creates a time-line of his entire sexual history, starting from birth. In fiveyear increments, he builds the story of how his sexuality developed. In the early years, many husbands have rather normal experiences of sexual experimenting which contribute to the shaping of sexual identity and development. Putting in the Work in Sex Addiction Recovery The process of recovery for sex addicts involves identifying those behaviors such as obsessive masturbation, pornography use, anonymous sex, exhibitionism, etc. that take you out of yourself and away from those around you, acknowledging the behaviors as a problem and finding sobriety by eliminating those behaviors before they show up. In addictions whether sexual or of any other kind the addict must be responsible for changing his perceptions, attitudes, actions, and self-concepts, as well as the belief system that underscores his addiction issues. Help and support await the addict but he needs to show up and work the process. A typical recovery process for a sex addict includes the following: Consistent participation in a Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) 12-Step type of program, such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SSA), Prodigals International, etc. It s okay to wonder how and when you will feel better and stronger. Are you contemplating therapy as a means of getting over the pain and through the confusion? You aren t alone. Please give yourself some grace and keep reading. Soon, there are three key things you ll know and understand: Who is actually positioned to help hurt partners heal infidelity pain? This is the most important stage recognizing that what we are feeling is likely less about them and who they are and what they are doing and more about a need that we have. So, we identify: I probably have a need . Step 2: Second, we learn to articulate our need in a hearable way. There are two parts to communication: 1) saying it in a hearable way, and 2) being in a posture to receive.