Every betrayed partner is dealt two blows at once when they discover their spouse s sexual behavior. Blow number one is the gut punch of betrayal; a breathtaking breach in trust that changes your relationship in permanent ways. Blow number two is the shocking realization that your partner has been extravagantly and expertly lying and manipulating reality in order to cover up their behaviors. Sexual abstinence should not be seen as a punishment but as an opportunity to refocus on the emotional aspects of your relationship. Rebuilding intimacy can also be facilitated through daily check-ins using the FANOS model, which covers feelings, affirmation, needs, owning actions, sobriety, and spiritual growth. Addictive behaviors show up, sometimes early in life, according to Hatch, as a coping strategy in the form of self-medication to emotional pain. Sex addiction, in particular, creates a sense of excitement and pleasure, while simultaneously ensuring emotional distance and avoidance of true connection the kind of intimacy that can leave one open to being hurt. We acknowledged that in our active addiction that we hadn't ever responded to his call in ways that respected him. Each of us told him that in recovery we were committed to loving and appreciating him. We understood that he was not going away, but would remain in us as a guide and observer. It was our job to listen and respond to him appropriately. Tolkien Pornographers are keenly aware of the content I will share with you. They are trying to do everything possible to keep this addiction treatment information from reaching you. They don t talk about it, nor will they. Pornographers understand that millions are addicted to their material and a lot more addicted daily. After all, they thought they knew their partner and never thought their partner would cheat. The reality of the situation rocks the foundational values they have believed in and based their lives on. What is perhaps most disturbing is that they were going about their daily routine in the safety of their own home, and, in an instant, a discovery upends their world.