Understand That Forgiveness Is Not A Thing You Give To Each Other When the offender demonstrates that he understands and is sincerely disturbed by the harm he has caused you, and when he works to make repairs, you [the hurt partner] may be more motivated to release your resentment and invite him back into your life. In this article, KeyStone Center ECU dives into exactly what those connections are. We explore how mental health problems can become both a cause or a symptom of sex addiction and how it can be similar to other behavioral health issues. Mental Health and Sex Addiction Understanding how mental health and sex addiction are connected is crucial for developing empathy for those affected by it. By Keith Rose Keith Rose holds a Master of Divinity degree and BA in Sacred Music. Keith worked with the Covenant Eyes Member Care Team for 15 years. He has also served as a Bible teacher, pastoral assistant, and music director at his local church. He's now the editor of the Covenant Eyes blog and the author of Allied: Fighting Porn With Accountability, Faith, and Friends. Carnes second book, Don t Call It Love, is aptly titled. Acting out is not about love or sex; instead, acting out numbs the overwhelming agony of being loved by a real-life partner. The root of addiction and the brain science At the root of addiction is trauma. Trauma is the problem, and for some, sexual acting out is the solution until the solution fails. Healing shame There is healthy shame and unhealthy shame. Healthy shame occurs when I have done something wrong, like lying, and I feel shame about it. My feeling of shame tells me I have sinned and that I need to deal with it through confession and repentance. Unhealthy shame occurs when I have done something wrong and feel like a bad person. He must understand that attaining and maintaining sobriety involves a daily commitment. Sometimes, especially at the beginning of the recovery process, sobriety has to be dealt with hour-by-hour. The Spouse s Road to Recovery Upon discovering the addiction, the spouses of sex addicts find themselves mentally and emotionally shattered.