She feels angry and hopeless but ultimately relieved that she has finally admitted to having an addiction to sexual behaviors. The grief stage. In another six-month period, the sex addict goes through a type of grief. She feels terrible about the damage she has caused to herself and to others. She also grieves the loss of her addiction because she used it like a crutch for a long period of time. Please take this away from me! We d like more than anything to stop dealing with the circumstances and consequences of this condition the shame, hurt, guilt, deceit, betrayal, and more. But Jesus didn t ask him if he wanted to BE well instead the question was if he wanted to GET well. When Jesus instructs him to stop sinning or something worse may happen, Jesus is telling him that, while the outer circumstances of his condition have been healed, the inner condition is still to be addressed. It s no longer about two people knowing each other and being known intimately within the boundaries and protections that God designed. God made sex as a sacred bond within marriage, but porn turns it into a commodity. God intended sex as two people giving themselves to each other. Porn is just about taking for yourself. It is not only a gift from their husbands, it is really (in our opinion) a moral imperative. No wonder the Bible instructs us to speak truth to each other. I know that as couples seek to heal and transform from the hurts of infidelity, full disclosure is an important part of trust-building. Often a wife learns about unfaithful behaviors through her own accidental discovery or through more intentional detective work. If he continues to violate boundaries or threatens your progress, you may need to extend the abstinence period. Physical Boundaries Physical boundaries are crucial during the emotional volatility that often accompanies recovery. These boundaries aim to provide space for both partners to heal and avoid conflict escalation. To be honest, my appetite for porn accounted for why I got the internet in the very first place, and now that I am down in a horrendous pit, I seriously wonder whether there is hope of recovery for me, for whenever I log onto the internet, I must view porn. What is wrong with me? Why can t I change who I am present?