This serious period of healing from sex addiction and its underlying causes can last from one to three years. During this period, the addict gets intensive therapy, learns to take responsibility for her actions, deepens her relationships with her loved ones and learns to have a healthy relationship with sex. Understanding the brain science of trauma and addiction enables the betrayed partner to see the big picture. The acting out had very little to do with the relationship or the partner. Many mental health professionals do not believe that sex addiction is a legitimate disorder. Therapists often think that the betrayed partner is the problem because they re not enough not attentive enough, not available enough, not sexual enough, not thin enough, not voluptuous enough. My relationship, which had created a stable base from which I was able to operate in the world, was suddenly a rickety, wobbly mess. Here is what I wished I had known then about what was happening to me. This is the science behind the tsunami of feelings betrayed partners so often experience. Getting Attached When we pair up into long-term relationships we begin a process of bonding with one another that is a beautiful and profound intertwining of two lives. People with traumatic backgrounds may develop trauma responses that manifest as compulsive sexual behaviors. This can include developing a sense of unworthiness (which can cause guilt and shame in sexual experiences), extreme risk-taking with the goal of achieving fleeting pleasure and re-creation of the traumatic experience, also called trauma reenactment. Representing the feeling partners in the United States can feel, after finding the right guidance to handle betrayal trauma recovery. Schedule a free consultation today. Are you in that place? It s okay to wonder how and when you will feel better and stronger. Are you contemplating therapy as a means of getting over the pain and through the confusion? This tells us that watching porn has no part in the Christian s life. Watching porn is sin, and it s part of the darkness we re called away from. Although many Christians struggle with this, it goes against the grain of who they are in Jesus. 2. Holiness Means Receiving God s Grace For Christians, overcoming pornography is not primarily about self-discipline or willpower.