This can represent a betraying partner trying to support her betrayed spouse. If you're the unfaithful partner and you want to know how to help your spouse heal from your affair, read more about our betrayal trauma recovery program in Florida, California, NY and the USA Don t Assume The Pain After Infidelity Is Your Partner s Job To Resolve Too many people, including therapists, view the pain after infidelity as individual pain. Like Josh, Derek is also six months sober. He is at a social gathering and his friends decide to watch a rather risqu television show that everyone is talking about. Because he is among friends, Derek takes a risk and discloses that he is a sex addict and is not supposed to watch those types of shows because of potential triggers and the risk of relapse. Sometimes people in 12-step recovery refer to acts that would constitute a relapse as "bottom-line behaviors". In addition to bottom lines , two other "lines" are helpful to understand. The first is what I call a border line , which is any behavior that increases the risk of relapse and therefore must be carefully monitored. The problem with questioning is that a betrayed woman may wonder if she has not asked just the right question, or enough questions, so her mind will continue to obsess about what she has missed. And the problem is no different with looking for information there is always the possibility that something was hidden too well. In addictions whether sexual or of any other kind the addict must be responsible for changing his perceptions, attitudes, actions, and self-concepts, as well as the belief system that underscores his addiction issues. Help and support await the addict but he needs to show up and work the process. A typical recovery process for a sex addict includes the following: Consistent participation in a Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) 12-Step type of program, such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SSA), Prodigals International, etc. The man at the pool had been in this condition for as long as he can remember. Jesus sees him lying there and asks, Do you want to get well? Then He tells him to Get up! Pick up your mat and walk. At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. But there is a twist to this story of healing!