Avoiding triggers and temptations: Request that he avoid situations that may lead to temptation. Additionally, it s important to encourage your husband to explore positive hobbies during the recovery process. Accountability Boundaries Accountability boundaries aim to hold your husband responsible for his actions and help build trust. This could be the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease, an arrest, attempting suicide or anything else that causes the addict to commit to change. The shock stage. For the next six to eight months, the addict has admitted to the problem but is in shock and disbelief. She feels angry and hopeless but ultimately relieved that she has finally admitted to having an addiction to sexual behaviors. Is willing to be forthright about STI history and willing to speak openly about a potential partner s STI history before sex Desires a relationship not out of need or desperation, but as a reasoned decision to add value to his or her life As the SLAA 12 Promises state: Love will be a committed, thoughtful decision, rather than a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. The secondary gain is that you begin to apply this constructively compassionate mindset to others as well. The Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model incorporates these skills to help you to become less reactive to your environment and the reality of the betrayal. You replace the fear with a constructive compassion that is reinforced using the Ford Isomorphic Path to Self-Intimacy. Healing despair Most sex addicts feel they are beyond redemption, that their sexual behaviour is so appalling that forgiveness is impossible. Self hatred leads to despair and sometimes even to suicide. The journey to despair occurs in isolation, but recovery from despair takes place in a safe and loving community. Process addictions refer to a maladaptive relationship with an activity, sensation or behavior that the person continues despite the negative impact on the person s ability to maintain mental health and function at work, at home and in the community. Surprisingly, an otherwise pleasurable experience can become compulsive.