Just as an alcoholic must stop drinking alcohol, a sex addict must stop all sexual acting out behaviours. Sometimes these behaviours are obvious, like no more sex outside of marriage, but sometimes they are subtle, like flirting. Again, this is where honesty with self and others is vital. Recovery support is essential, because trying to stop these behaviours without the support of God and others is nearly impossible. Sexual behavior may provide a temporary relief to a person s depressive symptoms. They achieve a dopamine high by engaging in sexual behaviors repetitively. Ultimately this may do more harm than good. Addiction affects dopamine levels in the brain making it difficult to maintain that same intense high. Some Christians have used the expression the already and the not yet to describe this tension in the life of the Christian. We are already made holy by the finished work of Jesus on the cross. We are already forgiven, justified, and saved. But we are not yet fully conformed to the image of Jesus. We have not yet conquered sin entirely. She picked up her husband s cellphone only to discover a loving message from his affair partner. Cathy s brain is spinning, and her emotions are all over the map. She feels embarrassed and alone, disconnected and detached from reality. She questions whether her entire relationship has been an enormous lie. Constructively compassionate is defined as allowing oneself to be fully present with the experience of oneself, while fostering a mutual acceptance of suffering, to bring a kinder reaction to distressing emotionality. This is intimacy with the self. That intimacy then ripples out into every other aspect of the partner s life. You could say, I need you to stop acting like a teenager and take me home or you could say, I m noticing I m tired and I have a need for sweatpants (or to be home, comfort, rest stage two). Your spouse hears you, considers your request and is aware that they have a need to stay a while longer as this is their work event and it s expected that they remain.