What must be done when partners are unable to move past the emotional pain. Why are these points important? Because so many betrayed partners are wounded and longing for relief without proper care, validation, or support. In fact, some time ago, I was inspired to write about this because a suffering spouse reached out to me. Pornography Primary Addiction Pornography Addiction Treatment Is DifficultHow would you feel if you saw a person holding a young child on the ground and injecting them with heroin? It s not a pleasing thought. In reality, this is what s happening with pornography. Throughout my career, I have spent innumerable hours on porn and sex addiction treatment, treating individuals and couples with chemical dependency addictions like alcohol, heroin/opiates, cocaine, methamphetamine, marijuana, etc. And, secondly, active participation in a support group of other women whose husbands are addicted to sex. Both issues need to be addressed, but dealing with trauma has priority. Counseling and involvement in a support group will help the spouse to deal with the angst in her head and heart, as well as to help her gain emotional strength. If they can t, that s also fine, but because of that baseline foundation that each of our needs matter, they will hopefully offer an alternative that honors our need, our vulnerability in our request and values our connection. Step 4: Fourth, because we are now wise adults, we retain ownership of our need. A person who overly relies on sexual thoughts, impulses and behaviors is likely to have some numbed emotions and distorted thoughts without being fully aware of it. Taking a break from all sexual activity provides an opportunity to get back in touch with your true self. If you manage a period of sexual abstinence correctly you will learn some important lessons about yourself that will help you for the rest of your life, especially if you combine it with other constructive actions. On a practical level, it looks like replacing sinful habits (like watching porn) with new things, like learning more about God, investing time with people, showing kindness, and using your resources to help and encourage others. However, since this is produced by the Spirit, it s not just a matter of forcing yourself to be more spiritual.