And the problem is no different with looking for information there is always the possibility that something was hidden too well. Volunteering information is a process of owning one s faults and sinful behaviors. It allows for brokenness and repentance. It also begins the long journey of trust-building. This replaces shameful behavior with self-nurturing and healthy attachment. Group Treatment Experience When I provided inpatient treatment for Dr. Carnes, we had stuffed animals for hugging in our hospital day room. Between the cute stuffed animals was an ugly, humpbacked dragon with only one eye. Once, as I walked past, I saw some patients kicking this creature around and calling it names. Integrity was at the core of his problem, and only through honesty could he find a way upwards. Finding Help In February 2017, we joined Covenant Eyes and hesitantly installed the app. I remember talking on the phone to an older woman who was a Covenant Eyes customer service employee. She talked to me with empathy and compassion for what I was dealing with and why I was getting this account set up. So sex addiction recovery is about far more than one-day-at-a-time abstinence; it s real work we do on who we are, how we were formed and how we communicate with others. When the work has begun in earnest, and after real time has been put in, only then can healthy relationships stand a chance of developing for addicts. I suspect most people have a vague understanding of holiness that it has something to do with God, that it probably means there are some things they should or shouldn t do. Years ago, a secular magazine published an article about Covenant Eyes, suggesting we block unholy web content. Naturally, the author used the word ironically. Two women taking over coffee What did you learn about having needs when you were young? In our work with couples and individuals, we talk a lot about needs. Often, because of mistaken understandings within our family of origin about needs and how to navigate needs within relationship, we have developed a way of being along a continuum.