People often avoid even discussing sex and sexual problems, but this same approach should not be used when clinically treating problems in sexual behavior. I have mistakenly referred past sex addict clients to support groups in which they were shamed for having sexual thoughts and masturbating. This triggered relapse behavior and a general clinical regression. ) Especially when it comes to problematic pornography use there is evidence that a 90 day period of total sexual abstinence can help some people "reboot" their brain so that continued abstinence becomes easier and they become significantly happier and more productive as time progresses. This benefit of getting some forward momentum is captured in an old recovery saying that "it's easier to stay sober than to get sober". He started therapy and support meetings, but the addiction still felt heavy and impossible. He admitted that this problem started as a young teenager with no restrictions to television or the internet. In those early days of this heartache coming to light, there were multiple relapses, dishonesty, denial, and an eventual separation. The problem with questioning is that a betrayed woman may wonder if she has not asked just the right question, or enough questions, so her mind will continue to obsess about what she has missed. And the problem is no different with looking for information there is always the possibility that something was hidden too well. The Spouse s Choice in the Face of Sex Addiction It can be a rough road to healing for the spouse. Feelings of confusion, betrayal, abandonment, and even anger and hate, are normal responses under these circumstances. At this point, the spouse faces a choice in her response to her partner s addiction and actions. Each person is unique, but he found that, in general, patients moved through these stages before being in recovery. The developing stage. This first stage can take up to two years. During this time, problems caused by the sex addiction grow. The patient begins to realize that she has a problem and may even reach out for help, but can t commit.