I promise you he does not know how to empathize, so he must learn the skills before it becomes natural to him. I would like to tell you that this process could take three months, but unfortunately it will be 12 to 24 months before this becomes organic. So please be patient with him and try to refrain from rejecting him for his empathy statements. It makes you feel like you are losing your mind. It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy or you break and ricochet over to one of the extremes just to find some relief. I wish that when I was going through the many rounds of betrayal I experienced that I knew then what I know today. Without intervention, intense emotions lead to faulty thinking, which becomes a force from within that fuels anger, rage and revenge. The powerful energy inside can be like a runaway train gaining speed until it crashes. Betrayed partners learn that betrayers live in a state of secret destructive entitlement. The five components to treatment According to Mark Laaser,1 author and recovering sex addict, there are five components to treatment and recovery for sexual addiction. They are: Stopping sexual behaviours Stopping rituals Stopping fantasy Healing despair Healing shame. Stopping sexual behaviours Admitting there's a problem is the first step to coming out of denial. We are called by God to forgive and forgiveness is one part of the restoration of the marriage. Marital counseling for couples can be quite helpful to the future life and health of the relationship, but should only occur after each partner has participated in individual therapy to help them each rise above their own set of issues. Counselors can also receive training and specialized certifications in sexual addictions, such as the certified sex addiction therapist program at the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals, which was founded by Carnes. The bottom line is that if you have zero experience working with this population, you should refer accordingly and seek training if you want to work in this area.