Some counselors would say that spouses are codependent at this point, a term that is defined as: A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin). Or, more broadly speaking, this can be defined as: Dependence on the needs of or control by another.1 However, while in most addictions the assumption can be made that the partners are co-dependent, or at least the addict s partner had co-dependent behaviors, this is not necessarily so in the case of sex addiction. This means that the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control, (Galatians 5:22-23) should increasingly characterize your life. On a practical level, it looks like replacing sinful habits (like watching porn) with new things, like learning more about God, investing time with people, showing kindness, and using your resources to help and encourage others. The patient begins to realize that she has a problem and may even reach out for help, but can t commit. She might start therapy or go to group sessions, but drop out. The crisis stage. During this brief stage, one to three months long, the addict s problems reach a crisis level. She makes a firm commitment to change after experiencing a crisis moment. When wives internal world of perceptions and intuition does not match up with their external world of what they are seeing and being told, they can develop feelings of being crazy. That is often the result of internal and external worlds not seeming to match up. When these wives are offered the truth it finally allows them to feel sane. A person who overly relies on sexual thoughts, impulses and behaviors is likely to have some numbed emotions and distorted thoughts without being fully aware of it. Taking a break from all sexual activity provides an opportunity to get back in touch with your true self. If you manage a period of sexual abstinence correctly you will learn some important lessons about yourself that will help you for the rest of your life, especially if you combine it with other constructive actions. Redemption Road Mentoring provides recovery services to those who are struggling with sexual/pornography addiction and spouses dealing with betrayal trauma. As the first step in the mentoring process, both struggler and survivor are challenged with the same question: Do you want to get well? This is a personal question.