Another victory for me has been that I found the confidence in myself to apply for nursing school at age 34 with four kids also in school. I have found joy in following this dream that I thought I had given up a decade ago when I didn t get accepted back in 2010. Perhaps the best part of our story is that when our oldest child gets her first smartphone as a teenager next year, I know exactly the first app I am going to install on it to keep her safe from pornography. While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. Despite the negative consequences caused by their addiction, recovering addicts need to find ways to love and value the addiction. There are two types of addictions: substance and process (or behavioral) addictions. Process addictions refer to a maladaptive relationship with an activity, sensation or behavior that the person continues despite the negative impact on the person s ability to maintain mental health and function at work, at home and in the community. With some of the messier, more complicated needs, if no clear option appears available to you right now and you are unable to come up with any alternatives after being active in your own hoop to communicate it relationally or attempt to meet it for yourself, can you surrender your need to God or your higher power, trusting that He may meet it or there may be something in it for you to learn about yourself? Speaking realistically, not all marriages survive the onslaught of sex addiction. Often the addict s shame and guilt surpass his ability to seek recovery and the help needed to heal the relationship. The same holds true for wives whose pain and anger lead to a permanent loss of trust. The factors that lead to one outcome or the other are as varied as the people involved. This process is similar to what sex addicts experience, but it is even more accelerated because the actual guilt and shame process decreases in duration throughout the life of the addictive behaviors. I m sure many readers are already aware that sexual addiction has a serious impact. I can say without hesitation that it has the potential to be a relationship and life wrecker, and it often does just that.