What Does Holiness Mean When You Struggle With Porn? By Keith Rose Keith Rose holds a Master of Divinity degree and BA in Sacred Music. Keith worked with the Covenant Eyes Member Care Team for 15 years. He has also served as a Bible teacher, pastoral assistant, and music director at his local church. He states that it is only by having a mind focused on the utilization of constructively compassionate interventions will the partner then be able to gain the ability to remain present with herself. Constructively compassionate is defined as allowing oneself to be fully present with the experience of oneself, while fostering a mutual acceptance of suffering, to bring a kinder reaction to distressing emotionality. Unable to withstand the mental obsession and physical temptations, addicts return to their addictive sexual behaviour. This cycle of control and failure to control is a classic characteristic of addiction. Help and support can be found in many ways. Recovery support can include support groups, like Sex Addicts Anonymous, recovery sponsors, accountability partners, in- or outpatient treatment programs, counselling, medical help and Internet filters. A pornography addict, for example, might upgrade to impersonal sexual encounters, and then impersonal sexual encounters may lead to illegal sexual acts, such as voyeurism and exhibitionism. The addict s objective is to continually seek gratification when the usual sources have lost their luster, so to speak. The chemical cocktail that is released in the brain is of the most profound and addicting nature. The almost impossible challenge we face is the fact that most addicts encounter it very young. Young people throughout the world become addicted before realizing what is happening. The age most people say they were exposed to porn ranges from 6 11 years old, some even younger. B: Advice Regarding Surrender Or Getting Over Hurt On Your Own Any therapist s expectation that a hurt, betrayed partner would get over it and make recovery less messy is not helpful. Advising them to seek out another therapist alone is not helpful. Requiring them to return fixed and ready to surrender themselves to another healing process alongside their unfaithful partner is actually harmful and unfair.