Jesus sees him lying there and asks, Do you want to get well? Then He tells him to Get up! Pick up your mat and walk. At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked. But there is a twist to this story of healing! At some point later, Jesus finds him in the temple and a follow-up conversation occurs. Breaking Bad If it is true that when we attach to someone healthy and functional, it feels good and provides a sense of security, grounding, safety and wholeness, then the opposite is also true. When we attach to someone who is perhaps say, sexually addicted, it can affect our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health in teeth rattling ways. There is so much to discuss about needs, but what I want to focus on in this article is how I help individuals and couples break needs down in order to understand where this larger topic of needs might be getting stuck for them. We can look at the navigation of needs in several stages. As I break it down, think about which part may be most difficult for you. Hebrews 12:14 instructs Christians to pursue holiness because, without it no one will see the Lord. So let s see what this means, and why it s vital for the Christian struggling with porn. 1. Holiness Means Being Set Apart In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for holy is, qadowsh, which means to be set apart. This can create more suffering because she is in that hypervigilant state to know the truth. It can be an auto-exacerbating cycle that results in more pain. To the Partner: My goal is to teach you how to become aware of your emotionality and identify what emotion is driving your mind state. My job is to help you use compassion so that you can surrender to what has happened to you and through compassion find an identity that is separate from partner betrayal. Another victory for me has been that I found the confidence in myself to apply for nursing school at age 34 with four kids also in school. I have found joy in following this dream that I thought I had given up a decade ago when I didn t get accepted back in 2010. Perhaps the best part of our story is that when our oldest child gets her first smartphone as a teenager next year, I know exactly the first app I am going to install on it to keep her safe from pornography.