With some of the messier, more complicated needs, if no clear option appears available to you right now and you are unable to come up with any alternatives after being active in your own hoop to communicate it relationally or attempt to meet it for yourself, can you surrender your need to God or your higher power, trusting that He may meet it or there may be something in it for you to learn about yourself? Counseling and involvement in a support group will help the spouse to deal with the angst in her head and heart, as well as to help her gain emotional strength. Over time, her self-care will improve her ability to deal rationally with the situation-at-hand. The disclosure of her husband s sex addiction may very well turn a woman s world upside down, but with good self-care, counseling, and faith, she will come through the experience stronger, wiser, smarter, more resilient, and in even a closer relationship with God. How do you make any progress as a couple, if you all believe that you re the unforgiving, unloving problem partner too stuck to move on? When it comes to betrayal trauma recovery, sending partners off to seek individual therapy doesn t do either partner much good. Betrayal Trauma Recovery for the Unfaithful Partner: How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair Recognize That Your Partner s Trust Will Not Come Easy After Infidelity To trust right now is an act of bravery. This is especially true when pornography is included as part of a masturbation ritual. From this perspective masturbation may need to be considered off-limits for many sex addicts. For other people, however, non-compulsive masturbation can actually aid the biological urge for sexual release, provide a venue for self-nurturance and contribute to an overall sense of sexual health. Although sexual addiction has received some high-profile exposure with movies such as Don Jon and celebrities Tiger Woods and David Duchovny revealing that they are addicted to sex, the issue still remains foreign to most. What is sexual addiction? In his book Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, Patrick Carnes, an expert on sex addiction and treatment, defines sexual addiction as any sexually related compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones and one s work environment. The decision to resume intimacy should be based on your readiness and trust in your husband s commitment to recovery. If he continues to violate boundaries or threatens your progress, you may need to extend the abstinence period. Physical Boundaries Physical boundaries are crucial during the emotional volatility that often accompanies recovery.