We work with many couples for whom there has been lying and covering up of sexual and emotional betrayal. For couples who seek to heal these hurts, we know that there needs to be a new foundation built from telling the truth the whole truth. We call this process full disclosure. I (Debbie) work with wives and partners of men who struggle with being relationally faithful. At some point later, Jesus finds him in the temple and a follow-up conversation occurs. Jesus says to him, See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you. The Outer & Inner Condition The conditions we are dealing with in our lives may not be paralysis but they can be equally debilitating and threatening. The book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment says, Numerous studies show that once we become attached to someone, the two of us form one physiological unit. Our partner regulates our blood pressure, our heart rate, our breathing and the levels of hormones in our blood. As our bond grows through perhaps getting married, combining our homes, having children together, or working toward common goals, we become more and more interdependent with one another. We understood that he was not going away, but would remain in us as a guide and observer. It was our job to listen and respond to him appropriately. Our addict, who longed for acknowledgement and help, had been angry about being ignored and shut out, and had found sex as a means for attention and validation. In the New Testament, 1 Peter 2:9 applies this idea of a holy people to us as believers in Jesus. We ve been set apart and belong to God in a special way. Furthermore, we were set apart to proclaim the praises of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. This tells us that watching porn has no part in the Christian s life. Both are unnecessary and further delay the betrayal trauma recovery the couple needs. So, what does a hurting partner really need in order to heal? First, they need some clarity about the process as a whole. Betrayal Trauma Recovery For The Hurt Partner: Does It Help To Seek Help Separately? A couple sitting on the floor, back to back.