In reality, this is what s happening with pornography. Throughout my career, I have spent innumerable hours on porn and sex addiction treatment, treating individuals and couples with chemical dependency addictions like alcohol, heroin/opiates, cocaine, methamphetamine, marijuana, etc. I feel qualified to speak about addiction treatment and about what I have witnessed and claimed from a clinical therapeutic perspective that pornography addiction is the primary addiction of them all. In addition to bottom lines , two other "lines" are helpful to understand. The first is what I call a border line , which is any behavior that increases the risk of relapse and therefore must be carefully monitored. Borderline behavior isn t the same as a relapse but it can be the beginning of a gradual slide back to one. He states that it is only by having a mind focused on the utilization of constructively compassionate interventions will the partner then be able to gain the ability to remain present with herself. Constructively compassionate is defined as allowing oneself to be fully present with the experience of oneself, while fostering a mutual acceptance of suffering, to bring a kinder reaction to distressing emotionality. Finding Help In February 2017, we joined Covenant Eyes and hesitantly installed the app. I remember talking on the phone to an older woman who was a Covenant Eyes customer service employee. She talked to me with empathy and compassion for what I was dealing with and why I was getting this account set up. In this way our adult relationships mirror our relationship with our parents as children; both, when functioning well, provide us with a secure base from which we can enter our worlds with confidence. Breaking Bad If it is true that when we attach to someone healthy and functional, it feels good and provides a sense of security, grounding, safety and wholeness, then the opposite is also true. In the early years, many husbands have rather normal experiences of sexual experimenting which contribute to the shaping of sexual identity and development. He may also have experienced various forms of abuse or abandonment. These also effect his identity and development. As he age progresses himself through his story, it becomes clearer and clearer how his sexual sin developed and progressed.