While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. Despite the negative consequences caused by their addiction, recovering addicts need to find ways to love and value the addiction. If you had asked him how long he d been an invalid I m sure his answer would have been all of my life! Some issues come into our lives, that while discomforting or disruptive, tend to be short-term. An example might be a toothache that doesn t allow you to sleep, concentrate, or even go about your normal routine. Rituals could include things like fantasizing about having sex with a co-worker, imagining what your neighbour looks like without clothes on, arranging your schedule for some alone time with your computer so you can log in to porn sites uninterrupted. 3. Stopping fantasy Sexual fantasy is at the heart of sexual addiction and alone is enough to trigger sexual stimulation. Masturbation almost always includes fantasy and for true sex addicts such fantasy can amplify into a downward spiral of obsession, objectification and eventually full-fledged compulsion. This is especially true when pornography is included as part of a masturbation ritual. From this perspective masturbation may need to be considered off-limits for many sex addicts. This is not an excuse for sinning; it is an opportunity to grow through pain. We recommend that full-disclosure be witnessed by a professional. As in all steps of healing, it is important that there is safety for everyone. Doing the right thing does not mean that it doesn t hurt, but with adequate support and love, hurt can lead to great transformation. The developing stage. This first stage can take up to two years. During this time, problems caused by the sex addiction grow. The patient begins to realize that she has a problem and may even reach out for help, but can t commit. She might start therapy or go to group sessions, but drop out. The crisis stage.