Rituals could include things like fantasizing about having sex with a co-worker, imagining what your neighbour looks like without clothes on, arranging your schedule for some alone time with your computer so you can log in to porn sites uninterrupted. 3. Stopping fantasy Sexual fantasy is at the heart of sexual addiction and alone is enough to trigger sexual stimulation. Heal, I am going to share situations which I am sure you will find some parallels or pieces to relate to as you examine your own relationship. You will also see how relational skills help repair the present-day problems that are buried in relational trauma. If you find that your coupleship is struggling because the addict does not seem to be using his opportunities to practice it, you may find that you need an ERCEM Specialist to be your guide. Are you in that place? It s okay to wonder how and when you will feel better and stronger. Are you contemplating therapy as a means of getting over the pain and through the confusion? You aren t alone. Please give yourself some grace and keep reading. Soon, there are three key things you ll know and understand: Who is actually positioned to help hurt partners heal infidelity pain? For those facing pornography addiction or betrayal trauma, even though the condition may not be outwardly visible to those around them, the effects can be devastating to them individually as well as for those around them. When Jesus asks us if we want to get well what is our response? I m sure, like the man at the pool of Bethesda, our response will be Absolutely! Education about the conditions that led to the betrayer s choices and deception is essential for the betrayed partner s healing. Still, it is in no way a justification or vindication of the betrayer s egregious behavior. It is complicated to understand that there are two truths for people who struggle with sex addiction: they love their partner (in the way they know love) and act out sexually with themselves or others. Sex addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior, has been defined as an excessive focus on and participation in sexual activities despite negative consequences. It can have extreme consequences on one s emotional, psychological and social well-being. When the American Psychiatric Association made the bold decision not to include sex addiction in the DSM-5 (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition), many felt the choice was controversial.