A secondary gain of mindfulness is that over time, you can learn to be present with the uncertainty, which is a normal response that is manifested out of betrayal trauma in a manner that was not reactive driven. When you learn this, you will not only survive, but thrive because of the self-growth that has occurred because of your trauma. determine what is missing in the therapeutic process so they can help them feel better. A man sitting with his head down while a woman puts her hand on his head to comfort him. This can represent a betraying partner trying to support her betrayed spouse. If you're the unfaithful partner and you want to know how to help your spouse heal from your affair, read more about our betrayal trauma recovery program in Florida, California, NY and the USA Don t Assume The Pain After Infidelity Is Your Partner s Job To Resolve Too many people, including therapists, view the pain after infidelity as individual pain. We each took this opportunity to say, "Thanks for helping us survive, we see you, we will listen now, we will take care of you. We can work together without shame." Replacing Shame The work done that day underscores the importance of relieving the burden of shame from the recovering sex addict. John Townsend define boundaries as personal property lines that separate what s your responsibility (feelings, attitudes, choices, and behaviors) from what s your spouse s responsibility. Boundaries provide a framework for your husband to take responsibility for his own healing journey and give you the space to focus on your healing, which is equally important for the marriage s recovery. People With Sex Addiction Often Suffered Early Trauma The cycles of behavior exhibited by people with sex addiction are often connected to traumatic childhood experiences, particularly attachment-related trauma that continues to impair their ability to form healthy interpersonal relationships. Attachment-related trauma can include physical, sexual or emotional abuse by a parent or caregiver. He's now the editor of the Covenant Eyes blog and the author of Allied: Fighting Porn With Accountability, Faith, and Friends. He lives in Hendersonville, North Carolina with his wife Ruby and daughter Winslow. Contact Keith with blog inquiries. Do Christians in the 21st century still need to be holy?