Viewing pornography leaves feelings of frustration, irritation, depression, anxiety, emptiness, and debilitating shame. These feelings directly result from chemical disruptions in the brain that are unnatural and unsustainable for any healthy or satisfying life. The mind and the spirit suffer when caught up in these acts that hold a complete disregard for the importance and meaning of sexuality. As in all steps of healing, it is important that there is safety for everyone. Doing the right thing does not mean that it doesn t hurt, but with adequate support and love, hurt can lead to great transformation. It has been our research experience that virtually all of the couples we have worked with who go through disclosure will not only survive but thrive as a result. Or, more broadly speaking, this can be defined as: Dependence on the needs of or control by another.1 However, while in most addictions the assumption can be made that the partners are co-dependent, or at least the addict s partner had co-dependent behaviors, this is not necessarily so in the case of sex addiction. She might start therapy or go to group sessions, but drop out. The crisis stage. During this brief stage, one to three months long, the addict s problems reach a crisis level. She makes a firm commitment to change after experiencing a crisis moment. This could be the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease, an arrest, attempting suicide or anything else that causes the addict to commit to change. When the work has begun in earnest, and after real time has been put in, only then can healthy relationships stand a chance of developing for addicts. Readiness Indicators for Relationship in Recovery Through the process of recovery, addicts begin developing greater self-awareness, deeper empathy and understanding for themselves and others, greater honesty and integrity and a desire to be accountable. We can look at the navigation of needs in several stages. As I break it down, think about which part may be most difficult for you. Step 1: The first step is to identify that you have a need. Often, it is easier to notice and think about others what they are doing, not doing, what we don t like about them, etc.