That is often the result of internal and external worlds not seeming to match up. When these wives are offered the truth it finally allows them to feel sane. It is not only a gift from their husbands, it is really (in our opinion) a moral imperative. No wonder the Bible instructs us to speak truth to each other. At the time I did not understand the science and theory behind the way that we pair-bond and what happens when that attachment is damaged. I only knew that discovering sexual betrayal in my relationship changed me overnight. Every betrayed partner is dealt two blows at once when they discover their spouse s sexual behavior. However, since this is produced by the Spirit, it s not just a matter of forcing yourself to be more spiritual. God is actually the one working in the background of your life, slowly and gradually bringing about a change to make you more like Him. 6. Holiness Means Living in Two Worlds You may have noticed a tension in what I ve been saying so far. Some who cheat feel intimidated by their spouse in the same way that they felt threatened in their childhood homes. A real-life connection is terrifying to someone who was not shown love as a child. In response, they seek affair partners, watch pornography or pay for sex to avoid these real-life connections. EMDR is a trauma-focused therapy that helps patients identify and process their trauma. Often, trauma gets stored in the right side of the brain (the emotional side). By stimulating both sides of the brain, EMDR shifts the traumatic memory from the right side of the brain to the left side (the logical side). For those facing pornography addiction or betrayal trauma, even though the condition may not be outwardly visible to those around them, the effects can be devastating to them individually as well as for those around them. When Jesus asks us if we want to get well what is our response? I m sure, like the man at the pool of Bethesda, our response will be Absolutely!