And they learn that a relationship is something to value but not something they need to survive or to feel good about themselves. A recovering addict who has accomplished these things and desires a healthy relationship may consider some factors for further readiness. Consider the following checklist: Is in active, engaged recovery and maintains a support group of friends, recovery partner(s) and sponsor Has grown more aware of his or her feelings and is able and willing to talk about them to others Has learned how to reach out to others when difficult feelings or cravings emerge, or when issues arise in close relationships Has acknowledged any co-occurring or crossover addictions and is working on them in recovery Has acknowledged any co-occurring mental illnesses that may be present and has sought help. If they respond to their addictive longings by calling someone in recovery, going to a meeting, etc., then the call of the addict has served its purpose and deserves appreciation. This replaces shameful behavior with self-nurturing and healthy attachment. Group Treatment Experience When I provided inpatient treatment for Dr. If these issues stem from early trauma, confronting this painful past can be grueling and take many months. Sometimes, medications such as mood stabilizers can help people with sex addiction to address co-morbid conditions like depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder. Twelve-step programs or other community support groups help many people to overcome the shame they feel about their compulsive sexual behaviors and to separate those behaviors from their sense of overall self-worth. EMDR can provide a faster and more effective results than other traditional forms of therapy. By exploring the root cause of their trauma and mental health, those affected by sex addictions may understand why they use sexual behavior as a coping mechanism and work through their issues to develop healthier responses. For many people, a good definition of sexual sobriety is to engage in sex only with a primary partner when true emotional intimacy is present. For other people the goal is simply to have no sexual secrets. For still others the definition of what constitutes sexual sobriety may be defined by whether or not a person is engaging in certain behaviors or activities. Reassurance That You Have Changed, and Your Top Priority Is to Help Her Heal It will be necessary to share how you are changing and what you are working on to focus on your recovery and her healing (You do not want to be cocky or arrogant. Instead, you want to gently remind her that you will work diligently to build back her trust in you).