The fact that it's difficult is itself evidence that the way you are managing your life deserves your full attention. If you are in a relationship with someone you have sexually betrayed, an agreed-upon time without sex can allow for some relationship healing to begin by giving you an opportunity to focus on developing nonsexual emotional safety and connection. How can they not, you wonder, if they really know all about you? After all, you ve done some pretty bad things while pursuing your sexual obsessions. If you talk about them, especially those deeply held secrets, others will hate you. Truth is, however, each 12-step group member once had those same feelings. The fact that sexuality is a core part of the human experience explains why categorically it is different from other types of addiction such as alcohol and substance use, gambling, and shopping. Sure, there is a strong argument for genetic predisposition, but not all people are genetically predisposed to addiction. Because our partner has caused us such deep pain, they now feel like a threat to our well-being rather than a source of comfort and rest. Sue Johnson, the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples says that betrayal traumas, overwhelm coping capacities and define the relationship, as a source of danger rather than a safe haven in times of stress. Sex is not meant to be a frivolous pastime nor a recreational activity; it is intended to be shared between two people who have deep feelings of love and commitment to one another. This conflict between mind, spirit, and brain is felt within addicts. Hope For Addiction RecoveryWhen these behaviors come, porn or sex addiction treatment should be sought and not delayed due to unrealistic justifications and rationalizations. With some of the messier, more complicated needs, if no clear option appears available to you right now and you are unable to come up with any alternatives after being active in your own hoop to communicate it relationally or attempt to meet it for yourself, can you surrender your need to God or your higher power, trusting that He may meet it or there may be something in it for you to learn about yourself?