Before these individuals can recover the ability to lead healthy sex lives, they need to address the underlying personal and interpersonal issues that have contributed to their addictive behavior, such as poor self-image and unhealthy attachment. If these issues stem from early trauma, confronting this painful past can be grueling and take many months. It makes sense to me that looking at our Memorial Day picnic pictures causes you great pain Validation of Her Feelings Using the Five Primary Feelings It can be difficult to ascertain how she is feeling, so it is helpful to focus on her primary feeling (and see if you got it right). If you were indeed able to figure out the primary feeling, you will be able to validate it later in your day if it comes up. A recovering addict who has accomplished these things and desires a healthy relationship may consider some factors for further readiness. Consider the following checklist: Is in active, engaged recovery and maintains a support group of friends, recovery partner(s) and sponsor Has grown more aware of his or her feelings and is able and willing to talk about them to others Has learned how to reach out to others when difficult feelings or cravings emerge, or when issues arise in close relationships Has acknowledged any co-occurring or crossover addictions and is working on them in recovery Has acknowledged any co-occurring mental illnesses that may be present and has sought help. As a professional counselor working in the sex addiction treatment field for more than 20 years, I want to make it clear: sexual addiction issues, like pornography and sex compulsions, are a chemical addiction. Brain Disease And Sex Addiction Treatment One ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them. Step 2: Second, we learn to articulate our need in a hearable way. There are two parts to communication: 1) saying it in a hearable way, and 2) being in a posture to receive. We are only in charge of one part of that equation - so to keep it clear and hearable there are some phrases to listen for in our conversation: I need to is really a should in disguise and I need you . The Effects of Trauma One instance in which mental health can lead to sex addiction involves trauma. Trauma is a common thread among people affected by a variety of addiction issues. According to a study conducted by sex addiction researcher Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., a significant amount of people with sex addiction experienced emotional abuse (97%), sexual abuse (81%) or physical abuse (72%) in childhood.