She talked to me with empathy and compassion for what I was dealing with and why I was getting this account set up. She was truly an angel, and I wish I remembered her name. My spirits were low, and this was a last-ditch effort to see if we could eliminate pornography from our lives for good. I quickly learned that I could block specific websites and receive weekly accountability emails. It is crucial for the spouse to seek two things immediately upon disclosure. Firstly, counseling with a therapist who is familiar with treating the effects of this kind of trauma. And, secondly, active participation in a support group of other women whose husbands are addicted to sex. Both issues need to be addressed, but dealing with trauma has priority. Do You Want To Get Well? The Path to Surrender By John Kelm John and Kathy Kelm began Redemption Road in response to God s call to use their experience to assist those struggling with pornography addiction and the associated trauma of betrayal. They completed Bravehearts Professional Mentoring training and are certified as Professional Mentors. He states that it is only by having a mind focused on the utilization of constructively compassionate interventions will the partner then be able to gain the ability to remain present with herself. Constructively compassionate is defined as allowing oneself to be fully present with the experience of oneself, while fostering a mutual acceptance of suffering, to bring a kinder reaction to distressing emotionality. In his book Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, Patrick Carnes, an expert on sex addiction and treatment, defines sexual addiction as any sexually related compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones and one s work environment. Each person is unique, but he found that, in general, patients moved through these stages before being in recovery. The developing stage. This first stage can take up to two years. During this time, problems caused by the sex addiction grow. The patient begins to realize that she has a problem and may even reach out for help, but can t commit.