What Will Fall Away As you progress through the 12 steps and your continued therapy, the feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. You will stop seeking things for your own self-satisfaction and begin to think of ways to help others. You will stop seeing your past behavior as something regrettable or that you have to close the door on it forever. Reassurance That You Have Changed, and Your Top Priority Is to Help Her Heal It will be necessary to share how you are changing and what you are working on to focus on your recovery and her healing (You do not want to be cocky or arrogant. Instead, you want to gently remind her that you will work diligently to build back her trust in you). In this way our adult relationships mirror our relationship with our parents as children; both, when functioning well, provide us with a secure base from which we can enter our worlds with confidence. Breaking Bad If it is true that when we attach to someone healthy and functional, it feels good and provides a sense of security, grounding, safety and wholeness, then the opposite is also true. By stimulating both sides of the brain, EMDR shifts the traumatic memory from the right side of the brain to the left side (the logical side). Doing this can reduce the negative feelings associated with trauma. EMDR can provide a faster and more effective results than other traditional forms of therapy. I was defeated, brokenhearted, and overwhelmed. I was a young, stay-at-home mom with four little kids, and my life felt shattered. I felt completely unprepared for the long battle ahead. He felt like he was spiraling out of control and absolutely could not stop compulsively (and secretly) viewing pornography. If I learned one thing, it was the fact that these individuals came in all shapes, sizes, colors, genders and socioeconomic backgrounds. Often, it was the unassuming person, ostensibly the harmless law-abiding type, who was committing the most heinous crimes. A sex addict can be your happily married neighbor, your pastor, a doctor, a lawyer, a man or a woman.