She feels angry and hopeless but ultimately relieved that she has finally admitted to having an addiction to sexual behaviors. The grief stage. In another six-month period, the sex addict goes through a type of grief. She feels terrible about the damage she has caused to herself and to others. She also grieves the loss of her addiction because she used it like a crutch for a long period of time. If you talk about them, especially those deeply held secrets, others will hate you. Truth is, however, each 12-step group member once had those same feelings. By going to the meetings, by doing the 12 steps, you will be able to recover your dignity, re-establish your self-respect and self-esteem. You will be able to fill your life with meaningful relationships instead of constantly pursuing out-of-control sexual obsessions. As he age progresses himself through his story, it becomes clearer and clearer how his sexual sin developed and progressed. Understanding these facts and the dynamic that hurt people can go on to hurt people can help a wife build empathy and can also help her to depersonalize his behaviors. She can hopefully hear in his story that these behaviors are not really about her, they are about much older and deeper pain. Rhodes Editor s Note: This article uses terminology commonly used in the addiction and criminology fields. Josh is six months sober. He is finally feeling the confidence to branch out and insert himself in a social situation and test the waters. At dinner with some acquaintances, Josh orders a soda much to the surprise of the others. For example, one we often hear: I need you to go group while still being good information for us by assisting us on finding the deeper need, is not actually the need. I need a sense of safety and support around our recovery might be closer to that need. Or I need to feel like I am doing everything I can to get to a better place or I find I get really afraid. Full Transparency Everyone deserves a marriage that has full transparency. With lots of work, support, and the help of tools like Covenant Eyes, I can honestly say that long-term recovery is possible for anyone who truly wants it. My heart has healed over these last 6 years as we have each grown into stronger, more compassionate people.