These ways of being limit the capacity for intimate and safe connection within relationship. When we were infants, we were current and congruent with our physical and emotional needs and were able - in present time - to express those needs to our caregivers. How those expressions of need were responded to set the foundation of our attachment style. With lots of work, support, and the help of tools like Covenant Eyes, I can honestly say that long-term recovery is possible for anyone who truly wants it. My heart has healed over these last 6 years as we have each grown into stronger, more compassionate people. The biggest victory for my husband has been his success at work. The use of pornography causes the body to get high; on a mixture of chemicals including adrenaline, testosterone, epinephrine, and over time, more of the pornographic material is needed to get the same rush. A survey of 28,000 men in Italy, conducted by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine, said that several began an addiction to pornography early in their teen years, by age 14. When I experienced this, in seconds, the person who I depended on and was deeply connected to went from being a source of support and companionship to being a source of pain, fear and deep uncertainty. My relationship, which had created a stable base from which I was able to operate in the world, was suddenly a rickety, wobbly mess. Trauma is the problem, and for some, sexual acting out is the solution until the solution fails. And when it fails, it results in more trauma. Deep wounds suffered when young cause a level of pain that overwhelms the child. Because human beings are built to stay alive, the brain banishes the ordeal s worst feelings and memory. This cycle of control and failure to control is a classic characteristic of addiction. Help and support can be found in many ways. Recovery support can include support groups, like Sex Addicts Anonymous, recovery sponsors, accountability partners, in- or outpatient treatment programs, counselling, medical help and Internet filters.