Recovery Doesn t Mean No Sex Sexual abstinence is not the goal for you in recovery unless you choose to remain celibate, but that s purely your decision. Instead, the goal should be a pursuit of healthy sexual behavior and true intimacy. You should strive, then, to see authentic love. What If You Relapse? You must also gather an extensive social history with relevant collateral contacts. Remember, the addict s point of view is not the only one; family members, friends and other treating professionals may have relevant data to offer. Examining the addict s personal motivation for change, patterns of acting out, trauma history and other addictive manifestations are other crucial areas of exploration. It s no longer about two people knowing each other and being known intimately within the boundaries and protections that God designed. God made sex as a sacred bond within marriage, but porn turns it into a commodity. God intended sex as two people giving themselves to each other. Porn is just about taking for yourself. Release and restoration After discovering a beloved s infidelity and deception, and after accepting their own call to action, the betrayed partner turns inward and begins their own hero s journey. This journey requires courage, loyalty and temperance. Each phase of the journey involves purifying, grinding down, shedding and brushing away unhealthy attitudes, beliefs and behaviors. Financial and technological transparency: Request access to his phone, bank statements, email accounts, and credit card statements. Full disclosure: Consider guided therapeutic disclosure by a professional counselor to ensure honesty and openness. Recovery support: Encourage your husband to seek counseling, support groups, or accountability groups. By stimulating both sides of the brain, EMDR shifts the traumatic memory from the right side of the brain to the left side (the logical side). Doing this can reduce the negative feelings associated with trauma. EMDR can provide a faster and more effective results than other traditional forms of therapy.