It is what makes relationships fulfilling and sought after. We all want this special someone to attach to and intermingle our lives with. In fact, attachment researchers talk about the paradox of attachment saying, The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become, (Attached). I remember talking on the phone to an older woman who was a Covenant Eyes customer service employee. She talked to me with empathy and compassion for what I was dealing with and why I was getting this account set up. She was truly an angel, and I wish I remembered her name. My spirits were low, and this was a last-ditch effort to see if we could eliminate pornography from our lives for good. To do that, we ll need to spend a bit of time understanding the early wounds that created our intimacy disordered behavior (addictions). So sex addiction recovery is about far more than one-day-at-a-time abstinence; it s real work we do on who we are, how we were formed and how we communicate with others. Holiness Means Dying to Sin The Bible uses the metaphor of death to describe a Christian s relationship with sin. This can be difficult to understand. What does it mean to be dead to sin? Among other things, dying to sin means taking practical steps to remove opportunities for temptation. It means confessing your struggles to another person (Hebrews 3:13, James 5:16). The question becomes, Why would someone who appears to be functioning well act against their morals and values? Are these folks actually addicted to sex, or is sex addiction an excuse for bad behavior? In her What Your Therapist Really Thinks column for New York magazine on May 11, 2017, Lori Gottlieb responded to a letter from a reader wondering whether their husband might be having an affair. Focus on rebuilding emotional connection and romantic gestures, such as buying flowers or helping with chores. Sexual abstinence should not be seen as a punishment but as an opportunity to refocus on the emotional aspects of your relationship. Rebuilding intimacy can also be facilitated through daily check-ins using the FANOS model, which covers feelings, affirmation, needs, owning actions, sobriety, and spiritual growth.